Pardis Parker

Anatomy of a Kobe-fueled breakdown

pardis — Thu, 17 May 2012 21:58:21 +0000

Here’s how it happened:

2:08	Andrew Bynum makes 7-foot two point shot	75-68
2:08	Oklahoma City 20 Sec. timeout
1:59		75-70	James Harden makes driving layup
1:47	Kobe Bryant bad pass	75-70	Steal by Kevin Durant
1:45		75-72	Kevin Durant makes dunk
1:39	Kobe Bryant deflects ball out of bounds	75-72
1:31		75-72	Serge Ibaka offensive rebound
1:23		75-72	Kevin Durant misses 25-foot three point jumper
1:22	Andrew Bynum defensive rebound	75-72
1:34		75-72	James Harden misses driving layup
1:00	Kobe Bryant misses two point shot	75-72	Blocked by James Harden
0:59		75-72	Kendrick Perkins defensive rebound
0:56		75-74	James Harden makes layup
0:36	Kobe Bryant misses three point jumper	75-74
0:34		75-74	Russell Westbrook defensive rebound
0:18		75-76	Kevin Durant makes 7-foot two point shot
0:18	Los Angeles full timeout
0:18	Los Angeles 20 Sec. timeout
0:05	Kobe Bryant gets fouled	75-76	Thabo Sefolosha personal foul
0:05	Los Angeles 20 Sec. timeout
0:03	Steve Blake misses three point jumper	75-76
0:03	Kobe Bryant doesn’t box out	75-76	Thabo Sefolosha defensive rebound
0:02	Kobe Bryant sulks instead of fouling	75-76
0:01	Pau Gasol personal foul	75-76

Things you’ll notice: James Harden had 2 makes, 1 miss, and a block on Kobe Bryant. Kevin Durant had 2 makes, 1 miss, and a steal on Kobe Bryant. Kobe Bryant had 0 makes, 2 misses, 1 turnover, 1 deflection out of bounds, and 1 game-surrendering sulk.

Can’t help but wonder what would have happened if the Lakers had fed the ball in to one of their two All-Star post players on at least one of those possessions…

Gogol Bordello – Immigraniada (We Comin’ Rougher)

pardis — Thu, 17 May 2012 19:21:41 +0000

I’m a little disappointed that I didn’t stumble upon this video sooner. I really, really, really like it.

Don’t know Gogol Bordello? Read on…

Only adorable because it’s a toddler

pardis — Wed, 16 May 2012 17:17:57 +0000

You gotta give credit where credit is due, though – kid’s got mad perseverance.

From my brother: The Making of the Leica M9-P

pardis — Fri, 11 May 2012 23:29:58 +0000

Although this does smack a little of being over-produced/directed, it’s still some kind of heart-warming to see good old fashioned handiwork.

Nathan Barnatt deserves a standing ovation.

pardis — Tue, 03 Apr 2012 22:54:51 +0000

Keith Apicary at a Kimberly Cole music video audition:

Haven’t heard of Keith Apicary? Neither had I. But this article explains all. Google’s pretty great.

Best. Coaching. Ever.

pardis — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 18:26:04 +0000

The final minute of Game 3 of the NBL Canada Finals between the London Lightning and Halifax Rainmen:

Click here to view the embedded video.

Halifax’s head coach is Josep Claros Canals, but everyone calls him Coach Pep. Here’s a letter he wrote to Halifax’s fans the day before the game:

Rainmen Fans:

We have to leave all out on Wednesday. We just need to focus to win. We play at home, with our people. With your support, London will feel like they are playing against all of us.

In this game, we all need to give our maximum. The players with injuries will play until they can’t walk. They play with pride and they will show their whole heart. They will do this with humility and with hard work, just like the people we represent in Nova Scotia.

We haven’t had a lot of help in the past. We’ve had 49, 43 and 47 free throws in the last 3 games. I don’t expect this little detail will change tomorrow.

So, it is time to all stand up. Together, we will build our future and show we will fight until the last second… just like we always did.

- Pep

So who is this X’s and O’s mastermind? This city-rallying cheerleader? This Basketball Benigni?

Hailing from Barcelona, Spain, Claros was head coach of the El Slavaor national team in 1994, and led his squad to the finals of the Central American Games that year. For the next two years, Claros coached at the American University of Puerto Rico and later led teams in Mexico, Venezuela and Portugal. Prior to joining the Rainmen, Claros coached the Mexican National Team for two seasons. Claros has captured a silver medal at the Central American and Carribean games and has appeared in 10 finals, winning five championships. He has also coached in Holland and assisted former Halifax Windjammer and current NBA assistant coach to the Sacramento Kings, Keith Smart, in Fort Wayne.

Halifax won Game 4 last night. Game 5 is Sunday in London. Good luck, Rainmen.

From my brother: 21 reasons you should be following JaVale McGee on Twitter

pardis — Thu, 22 Mar 2012 20:46:46 +0000

This post on Buzzfeed is one of the most entertaining lists I’ve read in a while.

A few of my favourites:

5. He Doesn’t Understand The Seriousness Of Flooding

13. He Feels Betrayed By The Flawed Logic Of Cartoons

15. He Has Great Jokes

16. He Is Empathetic But Sloppy

21. Babies Are Very Suspicious Of Him

The short films of PES: the kind of animation I really loved as a child

pardis — Mon, 12 Mar 2012 19:50:05 +0000

When I was younger, I loved these sorts of animated films because of how imaginative they were, and because it felt as if these sorts of films were giving us full license to think and create freely.

Now I look at them and, although I’m still captivated/jealous by how imaginative they are, I’m also left marveling at the amount of patience and planning the production of each film must have demanded.

From Wikipedia:

PES (born Adam Pesapane, 26 May) is a director and animator of numerous short films and commercials.

Receiving a B.A. in English Literature at the University of Virginia, PES migrated to film as a storytelling medium. His use of everyday objects and stop-motion animation to create original material is instantly recognizable. His work has been recognized in the United States and internationally, especially the short films “Roof Sex”, “KaBoom!”, “Game Over”, “Western Spaghetti”, and “Fresh Guacamole”. PES’s latest short, “Fresh Guacamole”, premiered as part of Showtime Network’s “Short Stories” series in March 2012. An early influence on PES’s animation style is the work of Czech surrealist Jan Švankmajer.

I was reminded of PES’ work today when Deadline.com announced that he’s been hired to direct a feature film adaptation of the Garbage Pail Kids, a trading card line that parodied the Cabbage Patch Kids. The trading cards were created by Pulitzer Prize-winning cartoonist Art Spiegelman and published by Topps, and the film adaptation is being financed and produced by Michael Eisner’s The Tornante Company. Should be interesting to see how it turns out, and if the production team intends to bring PES’ trademark animation style to the film.

In the meantime, here are three of my favourite PES short films. Enjoy

Fresh Guacamole:

Western Spaghetti:

KaBoom!:

Would you have traded Vince Carter and Antonio Davis for Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki? Because you could have.

pardis — Sun, 11 Mar 2012 00:27:58 +0000

A story relayed by former Maple Leafs Sports and Entertainment Ltd. executive John Shannon on SportsNet 590′s Prime Time Sports yesterday claimed that in the summer of 2001, a few months after Vince Carter chose to attend his (optional) undergraduate graduation ceremony mere hours before playing a Game 7 do-or-die series finale against Allen Iverson’s Philadelphia 76ers in the second round of the NBA Playoffs, a game which ended with a fatigued-from-flying-in-from-his-(optional)-graduation-ceremony Carter missing the last-second shot that would have won the game and sent the Toronto Raptors to the Eastern Conference Finals for the first time in franchise history, Raptors General Manager Glen Grunwald was offered Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki from the Dallas Mavericks for Carter and Antonio Davis, but turned it down.

Here’s the audio:

Two years later, Grunwald was fired and replaced by Rob Babcock, and Carter was traded to the New Jersey Nets for Eric Williams, Aaron Williams, a couple of draft picks, and the privilege of buying out Alonzo Mourning’s contract, a trade which is largely credited with setting the franchise back by roughly a decade.

And rightly so – who would you rather have – Nash and Nowitzki, two future Hall of Famers who have three MVP trophies between them and are considered the best international players ever, or Aaron Williams and Eric Williams, two players who scored a combined 195 points in their first season in Toronto?

But I guess the better question isn’t who you would rather have, but, rather, what you would have actually done. If you were the GM of the Raptors in 2001, and you were presented with this particular trade offer, would you have pulled the trigger?

Here are the relevant numbers:

Player	Age	PPG	RPG	APG	All-NBA	All-Star	Fan Votes		Salary (2001-02)
Vince Carter	24	27.6	5.5	3.9	2nd Team	Yes	1,717,687	(1st)	$3,073,032
Antonio Davis	32	13.7	10.1	1.4	-	* Yes	220,917	(47th)	$11,000,000
Dirk Nowitzki	22	21.8	9.2	2.1	3rd Team	No	0		$2,157,595
Steve Nash	26	15.6	3.2	7.3	-	No	0		$5,750,000

* Injury Replacement for Theo Ratliffe

I mean, objectively speaking, I guess that no, I wouldn’t have done that trade. But, man, it kills me to know we could have.

Robots are going to destroy us all.

pardis — Mon, 05 Mar 2012 21:19:21 +0000

Seriously. How does this not terrify you?

From YouTube:

This video shows a demonstration of the “Cheetah” robot galloping at speeds of up to 18 miles per hour (mph), setting a new land speed record for legged robots. The previous record was 13.1 mph, set in 1989.

The robot’s movements are patterned after those of fast-running animals in nature. The robot increases its stride and running speed by flexing and un-flexing its back on each step, much as an actual cheetah does.

The current version of the Cheetah robot runs on a laboratory treadmill where it is powered by an off-board hydraulic pump, and uses a boom-like device to keep it running in the center of the treadmill. Testing of a free-running prototype is planned for later this year.

While the M3 program conducts basic research and is not focused on specific military missions, the technology it aims to develop could have a wide range of potential military applications.

“The Terminator movies are so far-fetched.”

False.